A Philosophical Discussion of Dieting

Hi, again.  Well it's been a couple of days, and I thought I would give you an update.

I don't believe I can be successful going on a diet.  Now, before you give up on me, let me explain.  I have been on diets.  I have done lo-cal and high-cal.  I've done lo-fat and high fat.  I've counted grams and I've counted calories.  I've starved and I've stuffed.  I've realized that diets work!  All of them  work.!   It is just hard to stay on any diet indefinitely.

The most successful diet I have been on (for most of my life) is one you have probably heard of.  It is called my "seafood" diet.  It works like this...everything I see I eat.  Actually that old joke is better told than written, but you get the point.

This particular diet is spectacular in its effectiveness!  It works like a charm!  It goes like this:
* Why have one biscuit, when you can have four?
* Salad is to be enjoyed when everything else has already been consumed!  "May I have some extra salad dressing please?"
* The biggest challenge on this diet is portion stacking.  When the plate gets full, go vertical!
* Breakfast cereal is not just for breakfast anymore...and by the way, a box of cereal usually holds about two servings.  Big bowls work best.
* If you put a whole cookie in your mouth and take a sip of milk, it gets wonderfully soft...you can eat many more cookies using this technique.
* Hunger is something to be avoided at all costs!  Don't take a chance!  Eat as often as possible to avoid any chance of experiencing this unpleasant sensation.
* When eating socially, always eat more than the others near you.  This is the polite thing to do so that each of them will not be embarrassed by how much they have eaten.
* When eating alone, eat as much as you want.  Nobody is watching.
* Holidays are designated feast days.  Test your limits!!!

There are many more guidelines to this diet.  I may share more of these later.

I think for the time being I will just strive for balance.  It's noon.  What's for lunch?